I have been debating on how I should start
sharing how God has blessed Alan and me with a wonderful marriage. I felt I needed to start with a scripture, so as I was
looking through Titus (a great picture of how a woman is the help meet to her
husband) I started thinking about how I was raised
by a wonderful momma. So, I’ll start
with her example.
I use my momma’s “worn-out” Women’s Devotional Bible when
studying the word. She passed it along
to me after I was married and I enjoy reading her notes from sermons and her
personal meditations. I have learned
that momma was not strong in nor of herself. Reading her notes and scriptures that are
highlighted, it shows me areas that Momma needed God. These areas range from parenting, faith,
marriage, patience, and many more. I
found myself laughing out loud while studying the book of James. As I said in an earlier post, James was
writing the book to express how we should live daily by showing in all we do
that we love God. There are many
headings to the different verses. Some
of those are…..submit yourselves to God, two kinds of wisdom, taming the
tongue, faith and deeds, patience in suffering, and many more. I noticed Momma had highlighted or underlined
just about every word under those headings.
As always, I took this as her needing help from the Lord in those
areas. There was one section, however,
that did not have a single highlighted word!
I found this strange. I glanced
across the page and started laughing as soon as I read the heading. The heading was, “Warning to Rich
Oppressors”. Rest assured, there was an
area that she didn’t need guidance in. I
have told her this story and we both laughed together.
My momma has taught me many lessons. One of those lessons is how to make do with
what you have. She was not raised with
much and neither were we as kids. She
taught me how to clean and cook. My
daddy worked hard for what we had. Momma
was a stay-at-home mom and worked from the time she got up to the time she went
to bed. She made just about everything
from scratch such as, our clothes, our presents, and our food. I remember a Valentine’s Day pillow that she
made. My room was decorated in bears.
She cut bears from material and ironed them onto the red pillow she had
sewn. The stuffing was made from grocery
bags. I still have it. Another example
of how she “cut corners” was canning and putting up vegetables from the
garden. It is fun for me now, but man
did I dislike tomato and potato canning days as a child! She still cans a lot of stuff today because
she enjoys it, but when we were kids, she did it out of necessity. She taught me how to plan and buy a bill of
groceries on hardly any money at all. It’s not like she sat me down at the table and
taught me all these things. It was her
example and I watched her.
As the preacher said this morning,
“Sometimes the closest thing to a Bible that a person will ever read, may be you.” My momma is like a walking Bible. I’ve known and felt that for years. Her
example to me has always been a big part of the testimony of my having a
wonderful marriage. I said she had
taught me many things. One of the most
important lessons I have learned from her is how to be submissive through God
in my marriage. As I said earlier, Daddy
worked hard for what we did have.
Momma’s job was to stretch what he made as far as it would go. He took care of the mechanic shop and Momma’s
part was anything and everything in the house.
That included raising three kids too.
Mom washed, ironed, and put away all the clothes. Not to mention, she made most of them too. She cooked three meals a day every day. The shop was next to the house, so Daddy had
to have lunch. He didn’t do leftovers
very well. So, usually lunch and dinner
were separate meals. The rule was no
pizza, no hotdogs, or spaghetti. He wanted "hot" meals. Momma
did as he asked in everything. She
didn’t have a break as most moms’ do today while the husband goes off to work
and the kids off to school. As a young
teenager, I remember saying the words, “I will not take home economics as an
elective! I will never be waiting on my husband hand and foot, cooking, and
raising kids by myself!” Wow, that seems
so long ago and I was so wrong. I was
looking at it all wrong.
I shared in one
of my first posts that Alan and I married young at 19. I had a great example of “how” to be a
wife. There were ups and downs as I was
trying to do the “how”. After being
married four years, we had our first child, Will. This was about the time I realized I was
missing out on the reason “WHY” my momma was submissive and showed respect to
Daddy the way she did and still does.
Everything she did for him and our family was for God first. From cooking to cleaning to taking us to church
by herself for years, she did it for God.
The lesson I learned seven years ago was to do all things for the glory
of the Lord. The rest will fall into
place. She didn’t ask for appreciation,
respect, or HELP from Daddy. She showed
and gave Daddy these things through God because she loved Daddy.
1Peter
4:11 If anyone speaks, let him speak as
the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability
which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus
Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever.
I
never heard her complain or have resentment toward him. Man, did she have reason too! I remember her not joining in on all the
conversations with the other wives when they were bashing their husbands. Usually it was about their husbands not
helping or listening to them. My mom
could have joined in and at times I felt she had all the ammo she needed to shoot
him down. She never did. She respected him because she respected
God. She submitted to him, because she
was submissive to God. This made her
different and a prize for my Daddy. A
lot has changed for my parents and their marriage. As an adult, I was able to witness my Daddy
give his life to God and be baptized. I
also got to hear him preach at the church he attends. I was almost an adult the first time I sat in
church with him. He now shows respect and
love to my mom that she greatly deserves.
All those years, Momma never gave up on him, nagged him, or held
anything over his head because she knew God was stronger than either one of
them.
I
am blessed to have a wonderful husband that loves the Lord. I am so blessed to have a wonderful marriage
from the beginning of saying "I do". I am so blessed to
have a wonderful example in my momma.
She is one of the strongest women I know.
Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young
women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be
discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that
the word of God be not blasphemed.
The verse from Titus was lived out by my
momma as I was a child and she is still doing this today. She taught me these things by
showing me the way God had intended a wife to reverence her husband. We, as married women of faith, are to be
teachers. Just as my mom was and is. My actions and how I conduct myself and treat
my husband just might be a silent witness to someone I know. I had a friend once ask me, "Why do you treat him so importantly?" My response to the question of "WHY" was because I love God. It is not easy and I fall short daily in
submitting to Alan. Praying and a lot of
silent forgiveness takes place that he doesn’t even know about. Don’t worry, if you read the book of Titus you will
find directions from God for the husband also.
He doesn’t only give the Word to us wives. My mom held in there for a long time, but never
failed. God never fails either. As a result, my mom and dad have one of the strongest relationships of anyone I know.
In the verse from the book of Peter that I
referenced earlier, it teaches us to do everything for God. Well, we sometimes don’t apply this to our
marriages. Our marriage is the most
important part of our family, right after God.
My momma’s example was just this.
I remembered. I want my boys to
remember how Alan and I treated one another. I pray they will strive for a Godly wife and be the same example to
their children. It was started by God
and God will see all of us through!
The topic of marriage is one that I enjoy discussing. It has nothing to do with me being a perfect wife. I am so completely far from that it is not even funny. I do, however, understand the "WHY" and love sharing God's plan for our marriage.
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